I'm moving on up

I've got a new blog. I moved so that some of my posts can stay private since this doesn't have a password protect feature. I'll still blog on here, but I think I'll keep the private stuff over there. My previously available "private" posts are gone from here, but now on the new site as well. Thanks for following.

Abandonment, Sunscreen Style

Okay, so I had planned to write more about the ex, and the horrendous situation of he and I that is my life, but I don't want to write about that today. I want to spend some time in my head without finding him there. In my every thought, and overwhelming my conversations. I'm saying Adios to B today, well for now anyway.

I want to try to blog everyday or so, but I'm falling painfully behind. The good news is that I have been enjoying a little more outdoor time with the little one, and going on mini trips. I feel sad & happy, (What? You've never been with woman before?), about her starting pre-k in the fall, and want to give her lots of mommy time this summer.

Unfortunately part of mommy time included swimming most of the day yesterday, and today I look like the largest bipedal crustacean known to man. I'm serious, I look like a five foot ten lobster. As a redhead I have become one of the biggest consumers of sunscreen, and it has treated me well....up until now.

I can step outside for 2 minutes and come back in with a sunburn....it's that ridiculous. My daughter, thank the Lord, did not inherit this from me. She tans like nothing I've ever seen, and we were both wearing SPF 80! Slight exaggeration, but you get my point. I enjoyed my fun in the sun, splashed about foolishly, and never once ignored the repeat every 2 hours creed that has become my life. No burn when I came back inside. No burn two hours later. Three hours later and I'm applying Banana Boat Aloe Vera Gel like it's my job. Why do you hate me sun? Why have you abandoned me sunscreen? Have I not been loyal to you? Curses!

So today I spent most of the day feeling like crap warmed over....literally. One of the joys of sunburns is feeling the heat radiating throughout your sore, stiff body. I also enjoyed an entire day of having a 4 year-old continually jumping on her sore, roasted mommy. Quite honestly I'm not sure I've ever had a sunburn this bad before. The severe burns have swollen a little, and it's starting to freak me out. I was actually afraid to shower this morning because I hate the sensation of hot water on sunburn.

Well, I'm not sure, but I think I've complained just about enough for today. Tomorrow I'm going hiking on some trails with the little one and mi madre. I'm praying for some tree cover to protect me from el sol's mighty rays. I'm also in the market for a new and improved sunscreen that will not leave me cursing it's creation the next day. Wish me luck. Adios amigos.

Ocean Front Property in Arizona

Yes, I am channeling George Strait, and the song seemed kind of appropriate. I am a frequent ebayer, whether it be buying or selling. My mother, however, is not enthusiastic about purchasing things online. When it came to S's bday, we found a great deal on ebay for the gift mom & dad wanted to get her. I offered to purchase it, and just have them pay me back so she could get it w/o paying online. Guy had 100% feedback, brand new, in box, etc. The item location is listed at NY, which is very important as I do select the option of US Only when purchasing.

Paid on Monday, shipping was supposed to be priority (2-3 days). Friday comes, no package. Emailed him and asked for a tracking number. He politely sent it, and told me he did indeed mail it on Tuesday. I check the tracking number. IT'S COMING FROM JAMAICA!! What the heck? Not only that, but it shows that it only started this process on Friday, not Tuesday.

So here it is, Wednesday of the following week, and still no gift. Tracking info still says preparing at origin post, Kingston, Jamaica. Her birthday was a few days ago, and it was actually intended for a party we had Saturday. AHH!

What makes me so angry is that this is not the first time this has happened to me. The first time the guy was listed as New Jersey, and the TV Complete Series DVD I bought came from China and was even the Asian version. Not the US version shown in the photograph.

I learned not to purchase something with zero feedback when it is something expensive, but now I feel like I can't necessarily trust anyone on ebay. People ye be warned! Sorry, I think I've also watched Pirates of the Caribbean too much.

The disappearing blog post

Okay, so very very early Saturday morning I wrote a post about my ex. At first I felt better for having said something. For 6 years or so I had held so much in about what was essentially a crappy relationship from the get go. I never really felt comfortable talking to anyone about it. After about 18 hours or so I felt that I had put up too much info, and felt guilty about telling the truth. So not only do I have to deal with the fact that I was in a lousy relationship for far too long, now I feel bad about even talking about, and I feel bad carrying all this garbage around with me on an everyday basis. I feel like one of those old aspirin commercials. I have a headache and it feels this big. Very frustrating. I gotta figure something out.

In the beginning....

Although I initially planned to write about some earlier issues dealing with S's dad, I'm not sure I want to do that anymore. I'm trying to move on with my life, and be more positive. I'm afraid with rehashing the past I'm just validating it as part of my current life when I'd rather just leave it behind. At the same time I feel that it could help lift a weight off my chest as I have been holding it in with no one to talk to about it.

I feel like I'm always looking around the corner for "Mr. Right" or at this point even "Mr. Right-now" just to get me back in the swing of things. In order to do so I really need to shed the baggage of the last six years and move on. Maybe talking about it is the real key to say goodbye. Any thoughts on this matter? I do not talk to the parentals about this stuff, and while I have my sister I hate to burden her.

As it is I just go on day by day, enjoying my life with my daughter, and dreaming of the future.

My Blogging Inspiration

So my inspiration for blogging came from my childhood friend Amanda. I was impressed with her ability to share her life with humor and insight. You should head over there and check it out.

I'd like to start getting into writing the post I had originally intended in order to act as a cathartic experience. Although I also don't want to "scare" potential readers away. I'll have to work on mixing my life and experiences with humor and insight as well.

I hope to really delve into this either tonight or tomorrow.

Birthdays & Butterflies

My daughter's fourth birthday is next week. Getting sensible gift ideas out of her was almost impossible. She wants such silly things it makes me laugh. She decided what she wants most of all is a butterfly that won't fly away from her. It made me realize we all want things that aren't possible, even if they don't sound quite as silly as her birthday wish. As an adult there are many things I wish for that are not realistic.

I've decided since I'm having some trouble getting up and going with this blog I would write a few things that have made me happy today. In no particular order!

1. V8 Fusion Blueberry Pomegranate - I love this stuff. 100% Juice, and a full serving of fruit & vegetables. Tastes yummy and kicks off my day.

2. My fan - There is nothing better on a dreary morning then laying in front of my fan blowing cold air on my face while snuggling under my big fluffy comforter.

3. My netbook - No matter how mean my laptop is being to me, my little netbook is always willing to chug along with me (and it's battery life is way better)!

4. S* ♥ - My little person is the best part of my day, everyday. She is funny, and sweet. She is my best pal.

5. Morning cartoons - They entertain S long enough for me to get on the computer, and ease me into the day.

I will really try to write again today. I promise I will get better at writing more often.

*Although I had initially posted her nickname, I thought it might be better just to keep this all pretty private for now.