Monday, June 22, 2009
The disappearing blog post
Okay, so very very early Saturday morning I wrote a post about my ex. At first I felt better for having said something. For 6 years or so I had held so much in about what was essentially a crappy relationship from the get go. I never really felt comfortable talking to anyone about it. After about 18 hours or so I felt that I had put up too much info, and felt guilty about telling the truth. So not only do I have to deal with the fact that I was in a lousy relationship for far too long, now I feel bad about even talking about, and I feel bad carrying all this garbage around with me on an everyday basis. I feel like one of those old aspirin commercials. I have a headache and it feels this big. Very frustrating. I gotta figure something out.
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Guilty for telling the truth?
ReplyDeleteAt first I was confused by that concept, but then I stopped and thought about my marriage situation, and I understand a little better. I hope you're able to find a way to get it out so you don't have to keep carrying it around!!
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we have a kid together, and I feel guilty about sharing such information about a relationship that gave me S. I would be embarrassed/upset if she ever found out about a lot of this. In all honesty I think I need it though.
ReplyDeleteYou can always write about it private posts just to write it out. Or, you can e-mail it to someone you trust? I don't know if either of those would help you. I understand your fears though...I worried even about putting my stuff out there and I don't have a kid. It was helpful though.
ReplyDeleteI should reiterate that S is my daughter. After reading what I wrote it sounds a wee bit strange. I still have it on here. Unfortunately on blogger you apparently can't have private posts. I have to leave it as a draft. I've decided to bite the bullet and repost. Hopefully it will be up longer this time. Don't judge me too harshly for the candidness.
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